About Me

1.21.2011

..a daughter's goodbye.. (3/12)


My dad wasn't really there for me and my family.. got use to his absence, but before he died I got to see him and his family.. I honestly have no deep feelings, we were like acquaintances trying not to be awkward, well that's how I thought.. Repressed anger? Nope.. Apathy? Dunno.. I have conditioned my mind years ago, that I will be respectful, and understanding of whatever happened in the past.. I didn't set expectations anymore after my 7th birthday, that defense mechanism was a smart move for me, because I don't have to look forward to anything.
I do have blurry memories with my dad, sometimes I hear songs and just wonder, but I'd rather not entertain.. I love my mom very much I don't want to make her think nor feel inadequate providing for us.


This is an unfamiliar song for me, my cousin Jenny shared it, I honestly thought she composed it for her dad,
Mr Jose Marie Chan did...

Sing me your song again, Daddy.
Sing me that happy verse.
Sing me those clever rhymes you sang
As you carried me on your shoulder.
Sing me that hymn that you so loudly

Sang in church with Mom.
Sing me those songs I know will linger
Long after you have gone.


With this song in her head, comforting and lulling her to a peaceful night..she whispers:
We'll miss you, Dad. I love you. 

Your music will live on in our hearts.

.

1.17.2011

...better me.. (2/12)

Nothing is Impossible (Planetshakers)
You Reign (Citipointe Live)

"Lord, this year help me realize that You alone will understand me, accept me, affirm me, appreciate me, and not take me for granted when my flaws come out.. Others will turn their back on me when everything falls, but You are the one who will be willing to pick me up." mel catipon 

I am a new creation. I choose not to be affected by an unloving censure... I'd rather be convicted by the truth, learn from my mistakes, apologize when I'm at fault, and/or even when I unintentionally offended someone... I will focus on what's good and what's beautiful, learn to show love to haters even when the urge to bite back is tempting... I will forgive, I may not forget the hurt, but I will be in faith it will make me a stronger person, better yet set a good example, especially to my kids... I will continue to declare that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...

I am Strong... I will continue to declare Your goodness...



1.10.2011

..Decisions.. Decisions.. (1/12)



..late post.. apologies..  no more excuses..

 Before the end of the year, we make a list, either in our mind or on hard copy, of what some grew up calling "resolutions for the new year".. about a decade ago I got convinced to call it "Faith Goals"..whatchatenk?

Yep, that's how it should be called.. Let's be honest, the real reason that some if not all that's in the list didn't get resolved last year or even a couple of years back is due to the fact that these recycled lists lack conviction. Hmmmm?.  (talking to myself)

I don't know what's up ahead, but I look forward to a better year.. So let's purify our imagination... be in faith... set goals..  The countdown to a better you starts NOW!!!

in photo:my gears, old and new, for this 2011